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The Phases of Not Being Able to See Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Play

Pottermore/Warner Bros.
As a Harry Potter fan, after the last movie was released and then the theme parks opened, I thought there wouldn't be any more new Harry Potter themed material left to released. As active as JK Rowling is on Twitter, Pottermore, and writing other novels that don't have to do with the magical world of Harry and co., I thought that the woman who's brilliant brain thought up these fantastical stories had finally put down her quill and ink (I know she probably writes her stuff on her laptop, but let's be honest, we all imagine Jo writing with a quill).

But when it was announced that JK Rowling had co-written a script for a stage play called Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, a play in in two parts (to be performed only in London- hiss!), and then would later release the script as a book for us mere mortals to read, I was ecstatic. And then it was announced that Jo had also written a screenplay for a movie based on famed magizoologist/textbook author, Newt Scamander, well, my sadness over the loss of Harry Potter was flipped upside down and turned into pure joy when I realized that 2016 will now be known as the year of the Harry Potter revival!

As overjoyed as I am, as a die hard Harry Potter fan, I would KILL- okay, not kill, but maybe give someone a very annoying paper cut to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. To find out how Harry, Ron, and Hermione are doing 19 YEARS LATER? What Potter fan doesn't want to see how our golden trio are doing now that they have children??

Charlie Gray
The play has opened to spectacular reviews (Mark Hamill of Star Wars fame said it gave him goosebumps- in a good way!) and as a Harry Potter fan who does NOT live in England, and has no way of ever seeing this magnificent play (I'm assuming it's magnificent because I would expect nothing less from JK Rowling) but I am going through some serious emotions on not being able to view that play. Sure, on July 31st (JK Rowling and Harry's shared birthday) when the script book is released I'll get to read it, but to see it acted out in front of you, not knowing what's going to happen and see how the actors portray these beloved characters... there probably could be nothing better.

Charlie Gray
To all of you in the UK (or anywhere else) who have been able to see the play, I just want to say to you, I am profoundly jealous and you have no idea how lucky you are! But for me, as a person who probably won't see the play, as MUCH as I want to, here are all of the phases I went through when trying to come to the terms that I am not one of the lucky ones to view this historic, magical, wondrous play. (Funnily enough it seems to parallel the five stages of grief. Huh. What a coincidence!)

Charlie Gray

But...but...I've been a life long Harry Potter fan! I've awaited the release of multiple Harry Potter books, I've been to all of the opening days of the movies release dates, I've been to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, I have a Harry Potter tattoo, my main reason I love England is because of Harry Potter! Shouldn't I automatically get a free ticket for being a life long and loyal fan? I have to see this play! I have to! It's my duty as a Harry Potter fan! It's not my fault my parents decided NOT to move to England! Don't blame me for their foolishness!! Oh, the pain!!!!


I bet all of those people who got tickets and saw the play aren't really Harry Potter fans. I'm sure they just want to go to see what all the fuss is about and they probably just got tickets because it was an exclusive thing that they could just lord over all of us poor plebeians: "Oh, haha, look what we bought! La la, we have NO idea how precious these tickets are to someone who really wants them!" What did they really get out of it that we, the true Harry Potter fans, wouldn't? Harry Potter is in our blood and as fans we NEED to see how Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco and their significant others and offspring are doing!! Those other people don't DESERVE to see the play! We are the worthy ones! The injustice of it all!!


But really, I'm sure seeing the play is great, but I bet the script book is just as good. I mean, JK Rowling is a great writer, plus it was co-written with two other veteran playwrights. Nothing can beat the written word, right? I'll just read the script on July 31st and I can imagine the play how I think it should be. I'm sure I probably wouldn't agree with some of the actors' choices for their characters if I actually did see the play. See, it all works out. I don't need to see the play.


OH MY GOD THE REVIEWS ARE IN I NEED TO SEE THE PLAY!!!!!! I will literally do anything to see the play!!!! How much is a plane ticket to London??? Well, okay, that price is a bit steep. For that price, I might as well be flying first class. Alright, on to the next idea. What if I tweet something really, really clever at JK Rowling and she is so taken with me and my clever tweet that she immediately decides to fly me over to London and buy me a ticket to the show, and then later we meet up for drinks and chat, and she gives me all the scoops on the Fantastic Beasts movies and then we become best friends.... That daydream got out of hand. Let's be realistic, I need to think of another way to get a plane ticket!!! ....I wonder how much my kidney is worth...


What is life without seeing Harry Potter and the Cursed Child? I mean, I'll get to read the script on July 31st, but how will reading a script ever compare to the live performance of seeing a play? Nothing compares. Nothing will ever compare to seeing actors bring the adult characters to life. This is just as depressing as the original ending to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 with the main cast in their first version middle-aged makeup. Just depressing and horrifying.


Let's be honest, Emily. You're not seeing the Cursed Child. And that's okay. Because you know what? You still may see it someday. It's a big hit and will probably run for a while. And you're planning on going to England at some point, so you may see it there. Or it could move to Broadway and you could go to New York City for the first time and see it in the Big Apple. But really, I should just be glad that Harry Potter is such a cultural phenomenon that JK Rowling is still able to write new stories about the wizarding world in all different types of media and that she's sharing it with us. That way, the stories never really end and we learn more and more about the characters and worlds that we hold so dear and love so much. For that, I am grateful, to Ms. Rowling, and to the rest of the world who loves Harry Potter as much as I do. Without us, Harry Potter wouldn't be so beloved and popular... But dammit, I still want to see the play! Alright, I guess I'll go through these phases again...


Thanks so much for reading all of my different phases for not being able to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child! I had so much fun writing it. I'm still sad I can't see it, but I am looking forward to reading the script book when it comes out July 31st! Who else is excited for the release of the script book? And has anyone been lucky enough to see the play? I will be eternally jealous if you have!

Stay Weird,

Also, I want to thank the people who HAVE seen the play for listening to Jo and the Cursed Child play head honchos for promoting the movement #keepthesecrets, encouraging people who have seen the play to not spoil the story for those who haven't seen it yet or are not able to (like me). So far I have not seen any spoilers online and articles that do review the play warn viewers of potential spoilers. For once the internet isn't spewing out spoilers willy-nilly, and I think it's because we Potter fans are a loyal and kind crew and think of others and their experiences. It makes me proud to be a Potterhead! ♥
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